I feel trapped, restricted and aimless. My feelings are not positive and they certainly are not productive. There are times that I use my negative thoughts to propel me forward, they can also help me to prepare for undesired outcomes. The more outcomes you are aware of, the more ready you are to receive them.
Nowhere to go
However, this feeling of immovability is from quarantine. Though this isn’t where the story begins, this is the near end of it. I’ve spent the last five or so weeks in Colombia, living away from the family, enjoying my full freedom to explore a new land (for me anyway). I spent my time learning Spanish, about Colombian culture, seeing new places and getting to know new people. I would say that I had a healthy mix of social time and alone time. When the virus hit and started to shut everything down, I knew it was time for me to leave.
I took the next plane and fortunately had three flights in a row that didn’t get cancelled. I made it home thinking I’d be safe and free. Well, I was taken aback when my expected quarantine in the house turned into a complete separation from everything and everyone. Currently I’m unable to touch anything in the kitchen, I have to ask for hot water, coffee, food, etc. Also having to keep distance from my family, although no symptoms, I feel like I’m diseased.
Coming back from Colombia isn’t easy. In Colombia I ate when I liked, I drunk what I liked and I could pick things up. All that I took for granted, gone in the second I stepped into my house. Though, as with all things, what gets taken away from you leaves a gap for something else.
I can’t eat as much because I’m at the mercy of my family members getting me food, and also serving the right amounts for my maintenance. With this, I can see the fat on my body leaving promptly!
The lack of social activities has left us all with a gap. So what can we do with it? Fill it with productive things! So I am currently just going through all the TV series and films that I missed whilst in Colombia.
After that, when I’m all watched out (probably should set a deadline), I will read more, learn more and create more. All this time indoors you need to do more than just watch things that don’t bring value to your future. I know that the more time I spend on my growth, the happier I’ll be. Consequently I’ll also feel less trapped, restricted and aimless.
Just a little food for thought perhaps.