When it comes to having a conversation with others, listening to them more than talking is often more advisable. However, when you’re dealing with your own internal dialogue, it’s better to talk more than listen. Though, as with all things, balance is key.
In What Context?
That internal voice that we all have which is trying to protect us but is just spouting negative thoughts. That’s the one we need to talk more and listen less to.
Telling ourselves that we’re not good enough to do a task is our brain trying to protect us from failure. It’s a defence mechanism that serves us well if there is danger of death from a wild animal. However, in this day and age where our failure might lead to embarrassment or some other social connotation, it’s just not as extreme. It’s not desired but it’s not death (even if you might say it is!)
Listen and Respond
In the times that we have those negative thoughts and words sprouting up in our mind, we do need to listen. We need to listen, but then we need to override. And we need to continually, preemptively, speak over it. Talk away at yourself in a positive manner. Tell yourself that you’re good enough. Reassure yourself that things will be fine. This moment will pass and you’ll come out of it stronger.
The more you listen and take on board the negative “protect yourself” internal attacks, the worse off you’ll feel. The negative thoughts are there usefully to bring up emotions to notify that something is going on. They are there to tell you to pay attention. However, they are not there to stop you, to hinder you. They are there for you to deal with. Deal with it by talking to yourself. Talk to yourself a lot!
Tell yourself how you want things to play out and what steps you need to take. Speak the words you would tell a friend in need of help. Acknowledge that there is something going on, then profess nothing but positive, practical things over it.
Quicker is Better
Tackle your negative self-talk quickly. Imagine having a conversation with yourself where the positive side always wins. The negative you fades away and you’re just left with the positive, proactive, energetic, fun loving, playful you. If you take time to mull over the negative thoughts and devise a strategy to overcome them, you’ll just make things harder for yourself. The longer you dwell on the negative, the longer you’ll take to overcome them.
Is the negative ever worth looking into? Yes is the answer. But not if it brings you further down than the other side, the good side. Sometimes I try to think of the worse possible scenarios that I could find myself in.
I think of the unimaginably terrible situations I could find myself in. Then immediately after, I counter it with the absolute dream. What could happen, no matter how far fetched. If there’s a possibility of it happening, then I need to think of it. It’s a balance act, but the positive always needs to be more than the negative. This will keep you realistic wherever you are, but still a dreamer, still a doer and most importantly, able to deal with everything that is thrown your way.
This post is about listening less to the negative thoughts and self-depreciating talks.
It’s about acknowledging but overriding.
It’s not to say don’t listen to what your subconscious is trying to tell you. It’s still important. Even the negative thoughts come from somewhere, as an alert to pay attention. So, still listen to your intuition, those gut feelings, and feel what desires you have. Just don’t let the negativity get the better of you.
Talk more good to yourself, because you are good!