Blame Yourself

It’s so easy to just blame others and outside forces as to why we’re not happy today, in this moment, or in life. Deep down however you probably already know that it’s actually you causing all this. Your happiness is a result of your own decisions to react in a particular way.

Your levels usually drop because of an initial reaction to something; a thought or an event can easily take you down. But this reaction can be reconditioned or at least minimised through anchors. Setting way points for when you feel yourself getting down can help pull you right back up.

There are several different ways to train yourself to react better but I’ll try and keep it simple with a single method that I use myself.

Take A Breath

My main process for dealing with a downward motion in emotions is to take a deep breath and ask myself the two questions,

Is it worth it?

What can I do to improve?

The first action of taking a breath is just to take an action. The very minimal action of taking a breath already tells your brain to question if the emotions you’re dealing with are useful or not. It’s a step in the right direction, it says that you’re ready to tackle this situation. Now take the deep breath as if you’re getting ready to deal not a deep breath in that your sighing. There is a difference.

Is it worth it?

I’d venture to say it’s never worth it. Not to wallow anyway. Feelings of being upset or depressed are useful to let us know that something is happening that we need to deal with it. Staying in these feelings and holding onto them is what gets us really down. Dealing with them is the only real way out. So asking if it is worth it, sometimes it is, but only insofar as to get you out of what you’re feeling and deal.

If it isn’t worth it in that it doesn’t help you in anyway, you can re-frame the situation into maybe it’s not that bad. For example, you tell someone that your dream is to write a super popular blog. Then they tell you that you’re living in a dream world and will never amount to anything. That could bring you down, especially if they are coming from a position of authority, be a parent, best friend or even a writer.

In these times I ask myself if it is worth it. Is it worth hearing a negative point that has no constructive remarks to it? Nope.

And that’s where I move onto the next question.

What can I do to improve?

This has two sides in it. One is mental and one is physical.

The mental is your thoughts about the situation, how can you think of it in a positive manner? In the example of the “you’ll never amount to anything”, you can re-frame to be a they are only saying this because they don’t understand it as possible. Think of it as this is your opportunity to show them that it is possible and you will be an example to others struggling to “make it”. They might not think you can do it because they are placing their own limitations on you when you don’t believe in any limitations.

Your mental job is to find the positive in the negative, it’s always there. You will need to search a lot harder in some situations but it’s definitely there, I promise!

The second aspect is physical. What actions can you take to solve the current issue at hand? Can you begin writing more, take courses, talk to other writers? (We’re still using the same example). What physical actions can you take right now to get yourself moving?

Then, get moving! But take a small step, as small as you can make it. The smaller the step, the easier it’ll be to do. Once you take that tiny step, you can make another, and another, and another. And then you’re well on your way to achieving what you want to achieve.

Share with Others

In my desire to spread more positivity and help others cope with life in a happier way, I write but I also create t-shirt and other merchandise designs for sale.

I’m sure you’ll find at least one design that you like, or for someone you know. The Wulf Way Shop is there to help share the love, positivity and gratitude we have for others, as well as ourselves. They also act as reminders to bring ourselves back into our centre, to remind us to pursue our goals, to remain focused or be happier everyday.

Thanks for reading, I wish you the best day today!

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